i miss you
When you love someone like I loved her, they’re a part of you; it’s like you’re attached by this invisible tether and no matter how far away you are, you can always feel them. And now every time I reach for that tether I know there’s no one on the other end and I feel like I’m falling into nothingness. Then I remember you. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss you so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold you. Ten more seconds— is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold you? But I can’t and I won’t and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that you would kill me if I did. So for now I’m just going to miss you. I love you and ill see you soon. Rest for now.
betrayed
I went with my instincts. I followed the advise of my friends and it backfired on me. I don’t trust for a reason. this is just another wall to add to the fortress surrounding my heart. that’s it.
SKIN
hello, my name is Anthony. I’ve been a resident of earth for about 21 years now and with each passing day I grow more and more. I find the random qualities of a person too be the most beautiful thing about them. the essence of there being and so on. so too further elaborate on the subject i would like to share some random things about myself. My favorite musical artist is Rivers Kuomo of WEEZER. I probably listen to more rap and hip hop than anything else. I have an extremely odd talent for Pottery. I love to be out and about especially if the moon is keeping me company. I read more than I talk and I love books with random facts. I have a phobia of whales and I’m scared of free-falls. my favorite color is emerald green tho you will never see me wearing it. I’m afraid of rejection and being alone or trapped within my own thoughts. I have had to overcome polly-substance abuse and depression. I love simple things like stars and the comforting feeling of depth. I love all forms of art and appreciate there creators even more. I’m fascinated with the human mind and perception. I’m of a pagan upbringing starting with my grandmother on my moms side. I’m afraid of letting people get to close because of the pain and feelings that can get hurt. I don’t love often but when i do, i love hard. I love silent films and old romance short films. I like to swim and be close to the water at all times. When I’m dancing my mind is at peace. I’m extremely independent and don’t feel comfortable relying on anyone for anything.
deconstructing the walls
Camelots construction - Happiness is a concept I had trouble comprehending. Although I have experienced the emotion on occasion, I for some reason feel alien to the condition. Almost as if I’m not entitled to feel that way. the notion of happiness makes me feel selfish. Over the years I’ve watch people come and go. Taking a part of me with them yet leaving an opened wound in its place. somehow I’ve managed to hold on. temporarily patching up the wounds and finding the will to move on. but I’m tired. so tired. so sore from the scars left by people trusted. Time has turned against me and made me bitter. I no longer feel the need to search for happiness or even make my presence known to it. emotions are messy. people get hurt. After a careful observation of human nature and the human condition in general I decided to eliminate my humanity from the picture. I constructed an elaborate labyrinth with walls that reach to the heavens. indestructible, impregnable and impossible to overcome. this is to ensure that no one ever hurts me again. people would say I’m distant and my state of mind is black and white but i wasn’t always like this. many people played a part in my de-humanization.
The valient knight - this part of the story is still being written. Lets see were the path hes walking will take me… .
